The world is a beautiful place

to be born into… As Lawrence Ferlinghetti wrote in his poem, which is one of my favorites. The irony that he presents is playful as life itself and very much in the style of my own sense of humor. 

Anyways, if you don’t ask, you don’t get. But that doesn’t apply to the question why I wrote such weird blog post a day ago. I simply had a feeling and released it. In few hours, I was more or less okay. In general, I am not PMSing, I am not having a teenage angst, I just can’t find the balance therefore it bothers me and I don’t feel that my soul is here with me. It probably got stuck in the song of yesterdays and I won’t put too much pressure to find an appropriate place for it. 

Also, I intended to write a blog post finally about something else than love. I got inspired by my favorite magazine Adbusters but since love itself bothers me every single second to the extent that I can’t concentrate on anything else, I will write about love again. 

And once again, I will mention my long lost best friend Kristina, who said yesterday that “In a love relationship of two, there is always one that loves more than the other”. I didn’t argue with her. But what a stupid cliche. Who is to have a right to measure love? 

Love, happiness, sadness and pain are feelings that can’t be measured. This sentence doesn’t need any explanation. I started to write a few examples but it speaks for itself. I am just tired of this cliched world. I need to leave where I am right now, haunted by thoughts that make me a frenzy and surrounded by people whom I don’t understand and don’t want to listen. 

“It’s partly true, too, but it isn’t all true. People always think something’s all true.  - Holden C., The Catcher in the Rye”

Anyways, I found the truth in some old poetries of mine, which I don’t really feel like sharing or even naming “poetry”. ”Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.” ~ Leonard Cohen 

I cannot stay in denial
but I keep persuading myself of
inconvenient truth.
So let’s pour a glass of
pure french vermouth 
and enjoy the roller-coaster on trial.

So once you’re up and once you’re down
Once you swim and once you drown
Once he’s father and once he’s clown

…Beautiful tree to dead wood…

Once you’re happy then you cry
Once you hug him then say bye
Once you agree then you deny
Once you’re brave then you’re shy

…Dead wood to fire…

This night he’s your lover, another just a friend
This night you feel him, another just pretend
This night is the start, another will be the end
This night you have money, another you’ll spend
This night you see, another can’t comprehend

…Flames to cinders…

Marriages and divorces
White and black horses

Red wine and juice
Flattery and excuse

Scent and stench
Dry and drench

And you’re getting fed up with the ride
but darling, this roller-coaster glide
will never stop

So once he makes a song for you
She has no idea but you’ve got a clue

…cinder to ash…

Yeah, it’s like the roller-coaster ride
we’re all learning to enjoy

And it’s exactly two years ago since this… 

Summer is over, what have you learned?

Bright colors are gone, wind’s returned

Your secret smile remains,

happiness and love still flow in your veins. 

Baby girl died few months ago, her voice got lost.

Mature woman was waken up, it cost this man a lot. 

Her young soul hasn’t been bruised by the harsh world yet

he’s put his protective wings upon her silhouette.

She keeps this secret in return for his love.

It leaves no questions, it’s 100% and pure

it’s what love is supposed to be, it’s their cure.

Cure in this cancered world…

~ by Lenka Bliss on October 12, 2008.