Dealing with things beyond the maturity level
That’s what I do in my free time these days. What means 24/7. This is going to sound really personal, cuz I intended to write this to someone else but I guess at least I’ll give some update to few more people while writing on the blog.
Few things have happened since I last wrote here. I mean, I am not really happy about my current posts, I don’t usually write only about my life, more like observations entangled with sort of philosophical ideas how I imagine or see the life around me. Since I have no time whatsoever to think about anything else than present problems, I will write about them.
So meanwhile I quit the job in the hotel cuz some British people in offices are really clever making a law that any person under 21 is going to be paid less. Gimme a break. I am not a UK resident, not even a student here. How come that such law was not needed last year when I was 18? British British British. Gotta love them. You can drink in the bar if you are over 18 but you can’t buy alcohol in the shop if you are under 21. Makes sense right?
Anyway, Britain…America…Slovakia… whatever. We all have our ridiculous rules and laws and this one almost made me leave the hotel. My manager said that if the hotel don’t respect me and won’t pay me more I should leave and he arranged a new job for me immediately in his friend’s hotel. I wasn’t all that happy about it. I kinda looked forward to work in some shop or some really disrespectful job. But I had to take the offer when he already arranged a job for me. I was going to sign a new contract when general manager from my hotel met me.
He really liked me a year ago and was all toO happy to see me again and when I said I was leaving he managed to speak with our H&R manager and “promoted” me or simply – they made an exception for me. I rejected offers from my managers that tried to make me stay with illegal things like putting me more hours than I actually worked and everything but this offer really made me stay. I don’t want to learn anything new in new hotel, I am fine with the job that I know what to do and where people already know me and I don’t have to put more effort into presenting myself nicely. Still, I hate hotel management.
Anyway, it was fun to see how all those managers tried to give me offers and said great things about me like they don’t want to loose me because I am great and have great attitude. They are really going to make me a big head again. :D No worries, I don’t believe that I am what they say, I will never see it like they do. If they weren’t lying of course :D
I am sick and tired in the true sense, working a lot and don’t fulfill my main intention to seize the opportunity to study and check all the details about my university and admissions. But I need to focus on existential things like sorting out the accommodation which is difficult just like to write the word “accommodation” (I always forgot to give double M, thanks for the spell checker in this case).
So yeah. That’s just a quick update. I wish I could have more time to ponder about things. And write to people. Chat with them. Leading a life without internet is difficult for me but it’s even more difficult to deal with all those things around here that are fucking beyond my maturity level. And while I deal with this shit, life around me passes and slipping through my fingers. I have no idea what’s going in lives of my friends and it bothers me. In a similar way I cannot write more than this cuz writing about this in details is sometimes worse than going through that. So if you want to cheer me up, write some update about you for a change :) I’m trying to keep up with your updates on blogs, guys. :)
Some pics from my rooms and stuff :
Looks like a prison, doesn’t it? At least it had a net connection…
Oh yeah, I had a crisis and cried before the girls arrived from the airport.
Beautiful, isn’t it? Especially on occasions when I kill some bug… Geez, let’s get out ASAP.
Sorry to hear that things are not going as you would have liked them to. I hope you find yourself a decent place to stay before long.
“You can drink in the bar if you are over 18 but you can’t buy alcohol in the shop if you are under 21. Makes sense right?”
As far as I know, the law is a minimum age of 18 for both, some places only checkif you look under 21. Stupid though, I agree!
Update with me…
I might wait ’til I have some good news. You’ll make it Lenka. Just going through a tough patch
* hugs *
James: Thanks! And glad to know that it is only to check whether I am over 18. I really want to get drunk once everything is sorted out. I am not kind of drunkard or anything but I really want to celebrate :D
Red Wine Gums: Thank you :) Waiting for those good news from you! :)
I don’t know if what your going through has anything to do with your “maturity level”. Situations like that are difficult no matter what. We all reach the end of our rope once in a while, it’s a matter of whether you let it overwhelm you or not, and it sounds like the latter is the case for you right now. That indicates a high maturity level.
There’s a difference between feeling under pressure and acting like it. This is one reason why we sometimes keep our feelings inside. We act cool even though we don’t feel that way because otherwise we might just have people telling us to calm the fuck down, which would only make things worse.
Judging from your pictures, your room looks very similar to the one I used to live in at the University of Warwick. In fact, I think my room was probably smaller…
I like to post things that are more general and philisophical as well. The problem is I get so general and philisophical that I can sometimes wonder if I’m being human. There’s nothing wrong with talking about your current situation and getting personal. Pretending it doesn’t exist, like I often do, isn’t any solution.
I have some questions about the pictures you linked too.
Why the American flag? Are you from the US?
In the “Like a prison picture” What are the big plastic looking plates on the side of the mattress? I have never seen anything like that before…
What is in the pink bottle that keeps showing up in your pictures?
Hi Lenka,
You know, “Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value”. I admit, maturity comes with experience. But, in your case, you show some great attitudes and alternatives to look at life optimistically. The way you look things shows you have a good power to deal with life obstacles. Don’t let problem rules you.
I can get better picture about you and your way of life by looking at your blog. Its shows something vital. The way you presenting things are phenomenal. Don’t worry.
Cheer up. You have the ability to overcome any barriers. Don’t faze at problems. I know you can..
By the way, I love the setting of your new room with “Full of electronic gadgets”. ;-)
Best smile,
Zeezat
Good thoughts and wishes coming your way…! :)
Hey darlin. :-) You know we are there in spirit with you. Really, it may not feel like it now, but when you look back at these experiences that test your limits and challenge who you are, you will feel so accomplished at having got through it. Hang in there. We in internet land miss you and we love hearing about “you” and your life. Keep writing when you can and I know I don’t need to tell you to keep smiling. :-) :-) :-)
For all of you: Your comments killed me :) You’re gonna make me a big head! :) Thanks guys :))
rwhackman: Oh yeah, pretending is never a solution. In any case. So you’re right :) You may be even right about the maturity level but again, it is kind of pretending that it is beyond my maturity level. In my recent years (And I am only 19) I have dealt with things that were really beyond my maturity level and I never even thought that there is some level of maturity since it never applied for me. So I guess it’s just a nice phrase that is easily said and I feel relieved but won’t help me cuz even if it was beyond my maturity level, I gotta deal with everything around me on my own. And I want to. I want to undergo this alone.
Thanks for nice comment :))
lostspartan77: Interesting questions :))) Easy to answer, though :) I have an American Flag but I am not from the U.S. Difficult to explain, but somehow it’s something that is totally me. I am not proud of current situation in the U.S., I also wouldn’t like to be there right now and live there but I find American pride interesting… Anyway, I’ve got few more reasons. Good thing to blog about next time :)
The thing on the side of the mattress. I am not really sure. I did not care about it much. But as far as I know it should be like drawer and you can stuck linen sheets and pillows in it :D I guess :D
The small pink bottle is my fav one cuz it is very practical :)) It is a bottle from mineral water in Slovakia :) The best one :)
Zeezat: Thank you Zeezat. I’ll try to do my best, that’s what I have to do anyway :)
Yeah, the room is kinda funny. The TV doesn’t work (Fortunately, I don’t care that it’s there anyway) and the stereo is weird as well :D I have my music in my computer. :D But actually my room at home is similar as well as far as electronic gadgets :D
Thanks for cheering me up :)
Terry: Thanks :)
alwaysthatgirl: It does feel like that right now :) Seriously, I am just overwhelmed that I have so many supportive fellow bloggers :) Yeah, you don’t need to tell me to smile, I am smiling all the time when I read such nice things :))) Thank you :)))
I am pleased to say that I’ve finally decided to put the time in to read the blogs of the people who comment on mine. You’re the first. :) haha
Your writing seems very calm, even though you were distraught. Despite your cute tiny little errors in writing, you’re very good at English. :) I think you sound quite mature actually.
Sometimes expressing oneself online is difficult, because with all of the bustle of everyday life it can be hard to find time to sit down and hammer out what you’re feeling and thinking. I started my blog when I was at a very difficult time in my life and now that I’m doing better, I find I don’t want to post as much. Actually, I still WANT to post, I just don’t seem to think of it.
It’s great that you were able to keep your job, shopping around for a new one is never fun. I only had time to read your most recent post… can I assume you live and work in the UK? Are you going to school there also?
I wouldn’t want to live in the US either. It’s hard enough living just north of them in the good ol’ former colony called Canada. lol Canada IS much better than the US though so if you ever get the opportunity to visit, you should. :)
I do not know that we get Slovakian water here in California… sounds good though. :)
“Good thing to blog about next time :)”
I look forward to reading it!
Hi Lenka…You are welcome.
Arphaxad: Thanks! And I am glad that you’re doing better. Canada seems also great, some British either think I am American due to my accent but I was recently asked whether I was Canadian, too :D
lostspartan77 – well I guess you don’t :) And you’re missing something really good :)
It does not seem as though there is a big market for mineral water here in the States at least not on the West Coast. I traveled to England a while back and it seemed far more prevalent there.
lostspartan77 – interesting fact. Well in corporate America it’s cheaper to buy coke than mineral water I guess. So the market doesn’t need so many different kinds.. pelegrino, and evian will do :)
Hell in Corporate America in many cases it is cheaper to buy a coke then it is to buy regular bottled water…
coke’s more expensive than bottled water? that’s should be crazy here! nobody will buy it when it’s priced like that.
lenka, i love your blog and this last post is the best. you show your reality here, and it makes people love you and stopped here.
-your pictures are great, life and reality…
Wow. Thanks Betty :) I guess I don’t realize how I sound at all :) But glad that you like it here :)