When the shit falls all you wanna do is run away
So, if you want something
And you call, call
Then’ll come running
To fight, and I’ll be at your door
When there’s something worth running for
When your mind’s made up
When your mind’s made up
There’s no point trying to change it
When your mind’s made up
When your mind’s made up
There’s no point trying to stop it
You see, you’re just like everyone
When the shit falls all you want to do is run away
And hide all by yourself
When you’re far from me, there’s nothing else
- Glen Hansard, When your mind’s made up
I woke up today with a strange feeling. It must be the reason of yesterday which was also, taken as a whole, really strange somehow.
I opened my mac today, as always, it is the first thing I do in the morning, even before I go to pee. Call me an addict and you’ll be right, I guess. As soon as I opened it, my lovely classmates started to write me. One after another. They were having a computer lesson so they were stuck on the internet instead of listening what the teacher was saying. They all asked how I was, to which I replied not so cheerfully that I was doing fine. It made me smile and also sad when I imagined them all sitting one next to the other in front of different computers and all of them wrote similar things like they miss me much and cheering me up and everything. These situations make it clear that they are my true friends. And I am sorry that I ever was skeptical about them.
Yesterday I spent three hours walking to east-jesus nowhere. I was supposed to pick a bike at one place in a different neighborhood. But I got lost due to some roundabout and there were moments that I really wished I had been dead. I had the map but there were no people on this small path, it seemed that I am on some highway and I didn’t know where I was going. I never felt so helpless I guess. I wanted to go back home, but being so far away, I decided to push a bit more and endure it. No words of someone else could ever do the justice as this experience did to me. Getting successfully towards the end and getting my bike was one of the biggest fulfillment. An essential lesson from life, no matter how silly that might sound to you.
Also a situation like this reminded me that even though I have friends, there are moments when I am completely alone. And we are rarely proud when we are alone. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Next couple of days are gonna be tough, the bicycle experience was just the beginning.
You’re correct. If we want something and we want it badly enough, ultimately we’ll find the way to get it. That’s life.
‘L’ife ‘I’s full of ‘F’irends and ‘E’nimies. Hence, friends are the treasures that we have graced by the nature. If we put ourselves to rule by problems, the outcome could be worse than ever. Let me share a story with you.
There was a man who lend money from his friend and he’s suppose to one lakh bucks to his friend, tomorrow. He was very odd and thinking the way of getting that amount of bucks by the following morning to give his friend. He is clueless and wandering around his home. Wife of the man asked “What’s wrong with you?”. He told about the matter. Soon after knowing the stuff, she just phoned to his friend and said “My husband will not give you the money tomorrow. He’ll give it later”.
Conclusion: The man went to bed with contentment and peace of mind and his friend start to think about the way to get his money from that man. Wife has changed place of the problem. See, we have to get vanish every problem from ourselves. Don’t take me wrong, each person should be responsible for his own problem. Looking at everything will optimistic will make us to have a positive way, like you had with your lonely bicycle ride experience.
The way you express your emotions are really impressive. Keep posting.
Best smile,
Zeezat
Really weird… I clicked over to you from your comment on James’ post and that song was playing.
That weirded me out. Good song though!
that *is* freaky :D But yeah, undeniably great song :)))
Zeezat: well, yeah, if we really want something we are willing to undergo anything. But not all of us. I almost didn’t get there. And that should have been an original conclusion of my post – that most people run when the shit falls. I was only bit more braver but wanted to run away too.
How true your statement is about having friends but yet feeling alone sometimes. Priorities change as we all grow in our own ways and it doesn’t necessary coincide. I hope to have the wisdom to accept that every one is his own and the difference is what makes life interesting. Alas not everyone will see things as I do ….. and that’s when we risk being labled eccentric. :-)
Shorthorse: right. And how many times we might be labeled like that. And how sad that is actually.
Thanks for the comment :)
when shit falls you are still brave!
another great post from Lenka. let me put you as my favorite blogger. now i’m addicted to u. your blog is the first thing that i’m looking for after checking my email and the last i read before i sleep. aha! LENKA’S ADDICTION!
-herliando / bingmobile.wordpress.com
Ando: So many flatteries :D thanks :D Be careful, I am highly addictive :D kidding :D Glad that you like it here :))
put a comfort seat here, and give me some coffee… i will enjoy this much better :D
-highly addicted-
Lenka: One of my favorite songs from the movie. Good taste you have there! :-) Hang in there, the bigger the adventure the more to learn. Being alone and feeling alone is how we get better at sharing our lives with others and seeing what great things we have to offer and be grateful for. You got lot’s of friends in this big ol world darlin. :-)
alwaysthatgirl: hehe, I am just reading your blog :)
you’re right. Only in solitude can we learn to know ourselves, learn to handle our own eternal aloneness.
I am ready to fight, though. Not my loneliness but the battle that this experience in England is. :)
Thanks for your comment :)
Hello. Richard Whackman here, fellow wordpress blogger. I found your site from the comments you’ve left on alwaysthatgirl. I have to say that I can understand some of your feelings here because they remind me of a somewhat similar experience I had many years ago. I wented to buy a couch and found it to be very difficult. Don’t ask me why. I didn’t have any problem getting to the store but for some reason the whole experience filled me with anxiety. “A brother like me was going insane”, as Cyprus Hill would say.
It’s interesting that you have a list of your favorite movies and music. There is a scene in the movie High Fidelity when the main character says, “Films, music, books – these things are important”, meaning that one’s taste in these areas says a lot about a person.
By the way, I used to live in England and could go on for quite a while about what it was like. That place definitely leaves an impression, and I would venture to predict that your experiences there will leave a mark on you for the rest of your life. A mark worth having, I’m sure.
Thanks very much for the comment. I also follow your blog posts since I found your replies to alwaysthatgirl and also your blog interesting.
England experience has already a mark on me because I was here like this last year for three months. Somehow it is way more difficult than ithad been before.
I read High Fidelity and yeah, I remember his amusing playlists and everything but you’re definitely right, it says a lot about a person and music, movies and books are my passion anyway so why not add some? :)
Thank yo uagain :)